Conscious Relating Begins With Energetic Integrity
All people experience relationship problems in some form or another. How we relate to ourselves, our body, others, our community and our world. As individuals, many of us have a difficult time stretching to be in connection with our fellow human beings who are out of sight and out of mind because our immediate needs and stress are occupying our mind and experiences in our everyday life. When we look inward and see our own concerns, problems and issues and we reflect to change our mind, mood and attitude, only then do we begin to find the opportunity to change our consciousness.
What’s The Big Deal?
Everything’s a consciousness problem. Every judgment, belief and projection has a consciousness behind it. When we understand how these all work together to construct something to match those frequencies, do we understand how to create positive change in our lives. For example:
Robert had a hard time shaking off his feelings of dismay and disappointment. Vacation schedules had just been posted and the first thing he noticed was that his boss had taken the week his 104-year old grandma wanted him to take off to attend her big family reunion back east. He didn’t like challenging his boss because if his boss wasn’t allowed to go on his vacation, there could be retribution the rest of the year. The last time he asked for something his boss exhibited energetic dis-integrity by mocking him in front of his coworkers with a few eyeball rolls. His boss often would change his voice when he would talk to Robert and use a special voice with him but no one else.
The struggle was real. Robert couldn’t risk his boss holding a grudge against him or disappointing his elderly grandmother, which has the potential of dismantling the energetic integrity inside the relationships of both people. Facing this dilemma, Robert’s energy began to decline and he got depressed over his possible choices. He thought about quitting and attending the reunion to make his grandma happy but finding work may only repeat this problem year after year.
In experiencing Robert’s dilemma, what would you choose to do?
What we suggest is first the acknowledgment of the conflict or dilemma, that is created by the judgments of the others, which is created from “lack of integrity consciousness”. Robert experiences this as an energetic discord. Let’s look at some of these energetic integrity issues:
- Demanding Consciousness
The boss has:
- Stubborn Consciousness “This is how I am, this is how it is; therefore, I cannot change, fix it or make it better.” In other words, I want you to change so you will accept me as I am.
- Superior Consciousness: “I came first (am older, have more experience, am your mentor/guru, bigger than you), so I have more power over you”
- Lateral Violence Consciousness: “I am going to let you know how I feel about you in covert ways, like eyeball rolling.”
- Perpetrator and Victim Conscious: I am a Victim of someone controlling my calendar.
- People Pleasing Consciousness
- I’m Powerless Consciousness “I don’t have control”
- I’m Innocent Consciousness: “I didn’t want to do it (stand up grandma), but someone (aka the boss) made me do it”
How Could Robert Become Energetically Clear of These Relational Lack of Integrity Issues?
The surprising part is that Grandma and the boss don’t need fixing. Robert is the one perceiving grandma and the boss and reacting to their energetic integrity. The first step is to recognize that, at a basic level, he has a conflict or issue with their demands, agendas and conditions. Once he has this insight, he can release their judgments, beliefs and projections formed out of their lack of integrity consciousness. This will begin to liberate him from the energies that are contributing to his overwhelm.
Next, he can release his own self-judgments and self-limiting beliefs. Once these are clear, Robert can move into the next empowerment state of consciously releasing his judgments, beliefs and projection he formed about them in response to their energetic integrity.
Robert is now on the path to energetic sovereignty. He is just steps away from changing his consciousness. What empowerments would he benefit from?
- Creating Trust and Faith in the Absence of Proof: Robert lacks trust that his boss would understand that his 104-year old grandma’s need for the entire family to be gathered for what might be “one last time” with her. When he comes from this perspective, he blocks his boss from having the chance to open his heart and express compassion and understanding.
- Meeting (Yourself and Other) People Where They Are At: He needs to be compassionate that the other person has needs, too. This creates In Service To Us. By avoiding his boss, he is actually stopping open communication. Robert also has hidden fears that his boss will be indifferent to his needs and might unconsciously retaliate on him. This creates unconscious demanding energy, which can be experienced by others as low energetic integrity.
- Perceptual Awareness of All Perspectives: Finally, to support the healing of the conflict Robert experiences is knowing that he has choice. When Robert releases his own judgments and beliefs such as “I already know how it is or how it is going to be” and creates space for the creation of acceptance of his boss’ and grandma’s perceptions, he will heal his (mis-)perceptual awareness from multiple perspectives. This creates beautiful openings for Robert to experience something new from his grandma and boss.
From standing inside these empowered integrity states, it will open his awareness to potential outcomes he never knew were available.
Why do we want Conscious Relating? And how does it hook in with energetic integrity?
When we relate consciously, we are aware of the energy exchanges between ourselves and others or simply with ourselves. Quantum Physics says, “Energy is Information and Information is Energy.” Conscious relating means we can learn from the information in the energy exchanges.
If our experiences create overwhelm, how do we heal overwhelm to feel better again and more importantly, how do we prevent overwhelm from reoccurring?
It is super important to look directly at the experiences of non-integrous consciousness to identify how we are participating in it and with it. Getting “triggered” means, “I have reacted to someone’s non-integrous consciousness and I responded with my own unconscious beliefs about myself and others.”
To deepen your learning about how energetic integrity can create win-win-win situation, read our article on in Service To Us.
To conclude, energetic integrity is in everyone and everything that humans have touched, from the products people create to the food we eat. When we combine conscious relating with energetic integrity we have embraced the whole picture and whatever comes up out of that picture is now available for healing. As Annie is fond of saying, “We paint the canvas of our relationships with our unconscious thoughts.” Now we have the opportunity to look at and notice what they are (the unconscious thoughts) to change into our conscious reality and paint a more harmonious picture.
If you are experiencing Energetic Integrity problems, we recommend you participate in our flagship program Access Your Infinite Knowledge Now to support your abilities to notice the consciousness you are responding from and change it.
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Annie & Ashley